Townies

A posturing breed of ne'er-do-wells indigenous to A&W and Dairy Queen parking lots and prone to blaring last year's rap hits from the RadioShack woofers in their hatchbacks.

Scandinavian metal outfit, Dream Evil

These guys are exactly one pair of goggles shy of hailing from Orlando. (I hear that Ritchie Rainbow (left) is the sensitive one).

Confederate soldier reenactors

This role is as big a stretch as Clay Aiken starring in "Rent."

Dreamcatchers

The only dreams these things catch are those of turquoise jewelry, Lee jeans, and wolf t-shirts.

Cylons

Contrary to popular opinion, you can polish a turd.