Razor Scooters

You could quicken your commute with spandex and a shaved head as well. But at what cost, man?!

The Worm

This pre-blackout favorite should only be attempted if you're to prepared to awake with bruised knees, skinned elbows, and a bout of soul-crushing shame.

Rodeo clowns

Only Michael Richards has managed to combine failed humor and harbored racism with such dexterity.

Cousin Oliver from 'The Brady Bunch'

The only thing this towheaded imp brought to the table was proof that John Denver wasn’t the impotent granola-gobbler we took him for.

Deluxe leather fanny packs

Getting chrome rims for your double-wide would be a better investment than this abomination.

Ladyboys

Well, which is it? Lady or boy? I don’t know whether to open the door for you or make you mow my lawn.