Juggalos (ICP fans)

These dirtclowns are more disaffected than
Steve Guttenberg's career.

Mandels

Sometimes walking is controlled failing.

Unibrows

One is the loneliest number.

The Tea Party

Ignorence ain't alweys blis.

Backyard wrestling

It's like the Harvard Business School—if you're business is
drooling in buckets.

Cockapoos

A meth-addled merman would make for a better pet than this hybrid abomination.

Healing crystals

This new age gimmickry will bring about as much serenity as shelling out $300 to ride a hot air balloon into a rainbow with Yanni as he blurts histrionic morning breath into your face.

Sweatpants

A cry for help not even cutters will succumb to.

LARPers (Live Action Role Players)

Even their fantasy lives are socially awkward.

Super fans

Vegetables make fascism grow strong like the Hulk.

Neck tattoos

They wear their hearts on their sleeves and their
daddy issues on their necks.

Barry Manilow

Just a geriatric rat in drag, sniffing for his next morsel of cheese.

Roller Rink officials

Like motel stains, these doofs only flourish under black light.

Guidos

This breed of Oompa Loompa is afflicted merely with
dwarfish frontal lobes.