He reigned supreme in the 1980’s as Megatron’s right-hand man. But modern audio advancements ultimately rendered his skill set all but defunct—making him, essentially, the Jazzy Jeff to Megatron’s Will Smith.


Hacky Sack

This game of leisure was originally championed by the tight-shorts and knee high sock-wearing elite. But Trickle-Down Theory Reaganomics enabled the noble heritage to be hijacked by hippies. Dirty, dirty hippies.


Thomas KInkade

He mass-produces idyllic depictions of idealized, false realities that are calculatedly devised to opiate our senses—making him a veritable Larry Flynt in sheep’s clothing.