Hawaiian shirts

If the sexiest man in the world can’t pull it off, what makes you think you can?


"Living life to the fullest"

An expression commonly uttered by one who attends DeVry, works at The Sharper Image, and/or subsists on a steady diet of frozen burritos.


Smooth jazz

This opiate of the urban bourgeoisie has about as much artistic integrity as Florence Griffith Joyner’s fingernails on a chalkboard.


Betta (a.k.a. Siamese Fighting Fish)

Their mere presence is a sure sign that you’re planted firmly in, or flirting dangerously with, the white trash demographic. Same goes for silverfish.


Taking a picture of someone taking a picture of you.

I've seen buckets of dirt clods that are more inspired than this maneuver.